Matches of Silver
Matches of Silver
Inspired and based off "Can't Stay Away" by Purrslink
It's difficult to let him go, after everything he's been through, to watch as his body disappears back into that hospital. He'll be ok now, though. Richter is back and Decker is gone. There's no more ten by ten white rooms, no more straightjackets and definitely no more electroshock. Still, I can't help but worry over him. Worry that the tremors will start again, that the idiot Dr. Bradshaw will insist he continue with the treatment prescribed while Richter was away, that more memories will slip through the cracks. It was bad enough Murdock still had no memory of anything that went on in that week and a half; I suppose you could say I was afraid he'd find he couldn't remember more.
He's my pilot, after all. Mine to take care of, to protect and love. People just don't understand him the way I do and very few are as fluent in Murdock as I am. Of course I'm still kicking myself for not being fluent enough though to figure out his disc jockey code sooner. If I had, maybe I could have been there before the electroshock; I could have saved him from all the pain and fear he must have been going through. God I still wish I could track down Decker and hook him up to that damn thing, jolt him with enough electricity that he spends the next few hours -fuck it, days--shaking and drooling and locked away alone in a dark room.
I wish, more than anything in the world, that the machine Murdock had hoped to be invented that could slow down time came with a switch to speed time up. I'd set that puppy on high and skip through all the loneliness, all the nights of being apart and alone. I'd set it so that we skip to the day he's officially released, the day when I'm there with an eat-shit-and-die grin plastered on my face as I help him move all his T-shirts and toys out of that damn place and into mine. I'd probably have a few words to spit at a few people, Nurse Hidelburg being one of the main targets. I'm probably going to end up going to Hell over everything that's happened in my life anyways, might as well make the trip worthwhile.
Or maybe I'd skip to the day where we're both standing together, hand in hand, eyes locked in that nervous and awkward but hopelessly in love way. Hannibal no doubt grinning like the Cheshire Cat and BA scowling away (he'd be smiling like a proud papa on the inside though, that's what Murdock says anyways). Skip to a day where we're both curled up in bed, tangled in each other's limbs, smiling and contented. Who knows, maybe if I skip ahead far enough, I'll find there's a time and place where we've got our own nice little house somewhere, full of love and laughter. Not just Murdock or I laughing though, no, much sweeter laughter. Laughter that can only come from a little one or two enjoying the play time they're having with their oversized kid of a father. A family. Wouldn't that be something?
Oh how I wish that machine would be made so Murdock didn't have to worry anymore about whether or not I'd really be coming back. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't at least a little bit hurt when he questioned me on that. Did he honestly think I'd just leave him hanging there all by himself after everything I went through to get him out of that place and away from the shit they were putting him through? That I wouldn't come back to my best friend, my lover, the man who has promised to spend the rest of his unstable and manic life with me? I look to my hand and see the matching silver ring glimmering in the bright sunlight. No, there was no way in Hell I'd leave him there alone.
Leaning my head back against the headrest, I let the sunlight warm my face as I close my eyes, a small smile playing on my lips as I think about the night before. The love, the kisses, the tickling. The way his body fit so perfectly against mine that it was--as clich as it sounds--as if we were two puzzle pieces fitting together to form the whole beautiful and perfect picture. That's what we are, really. Puzzle pieces. Together we complete our little team of miscreants and we complete each other. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. Murdock would agree with me, too. Of course, he'd probably insist on being a corner piece and spend the rest of the day forming a Puzzle Pieces of America Union or demand that his puzzle piece brethren be released from their cardboard box prison cells. And who could say no to that, after knowing how scary and lonesome it can be in such small, dark places like that?
Opening my eyes, smile still plastered where it is, I put the `Vette back into drive. Time to let him handle things on his own again. I know he'll be fine now that Richter's back, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy about leaving this place alone again. Looking up, I glance at the hospital and grounds one more time. A pair of dark chocolate brown eyes are watching me from the common room window; eyes that still for some reason are hiding a fear and worry that he'll be left there and forgotten. I raise my hand in a small wave, left hand with the silver band still shining so he sees I've still got it on, and bring my best reassuring grin to the front. It helps some as I see the love return to those eyes, a soft smile on his face as he raises his own left hand in a wave. He'll have to take the ring off soon, hide it someplace safe so no one finds it and takes it away from him. But that's ok; because I'll be coming back to break him out again soon and he'll be able to wear it again then. Two matches of silver glittering in the sunset as I prove to him again and again that I'll always be coming back for him.
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